Transcript of Donkey Kong Frustration part 1

The transcript of "Donkey Kong Frustration part 1" by mrtoilet2 on youtube.

Okay! Here is Donkey Kong! Yes, I just recently downloaded it. I hope you enjoy the video. Alright, let's beat this game! Yeah, let's beat it. First try. Come on, climb, climb. I'm climbing ladders. That's all I do. I climb ladders because I'm Mario. Watch out for that. Why the hell am I? Oh, which way do I go? God damn it. God! One hundred, a hundred. I wonder if I get a hundred points just for jumping over this. Oh shit! (dies) Aaaah! Alright, alright. I'm not gonna get mad, i'm not gonna get mad. I mean, it's just the first, you know, time I, you know, on this thing. Yeah, it was just, yeah. Let's do it. Yeah. Okay, now the one over to the part right, looks small so I'm gonna take that one. No wait, I'll take the one in the middle. Yeah! That's right! Jump over the thingie. It's Donkey Kong's balls basically. You know what I find funny about Donkey Kong is when he bangs his chest? He looks like he has boobs or whatever, tits, or whatever you wanna call 'em. Seriously, he looks like a freakin' chick......kong, or whatever. So yeah, on stage 2. Which we've been on for a while. Yeah. Alright, come on. (falls down and dies). Naaaaaaaaaaw!!! I jumped too early! Okay, so I'm not gonna get mad, not gonna get mad. I mean, seriously, haven't you got alisle a little bit. There's only a few stages. It's gotta be challenging. Yeah. Yeah, it's gotta be challenging. If it's not challenging then what the hell is (almost dies from fireball) Oh god! Oh god! (groans). I thought that guy was gonna hit, kill me. Okay, gonna go it. Up. Very first time, we're gonna do it! (almost gets hit). Oooh, I could of gotten hit. I, why (dies from spring) Aaaaaaaaaaaaaawwww!!!!! Damn it! Could of gotten it! Awwwww, hate this!!! Damn it!!

Oh well, okay. Let's go for another one. Come on. Alright, pressed start. Alright. Just to let you know, this was one on the virtual console on Wii. And not the, um, uh, NES version. I don't have that one. Jump over that thingie. Which is Donkey Kong's balls. Oh god, oh god. (makes the jump). Yes! I am SKILLED at Donkey Kong! Okay, going up. I'm gonna do this without dying on this stage. Which is good. Because if you die, you lose a life. Which is not good. Alright, did it without losing a life.This time I feel like I'm gonna do it. Alright, climb, climbing, still climbing. Go get that umbrella. Gonna give it to Pauline. (dies from top of conveyor belt) Aaaah shit! Dingrander. Donkey Kong. Damn! I can't believe it kills you immediatley. Let alone, it's okay. It's challenging. And yeah, it's supposed to be challenging. Right? If it's not challenging then what the hell is the game supposed to be then? Aaaaand, yes, yes! Gonna go up. Gonna go to the third stage. Come on. Climbing. Okay, climbing. (almost dies from spring). AIN'T climbing. (dodges spring) Ooh, my god. I dodged that and YES! I did it. Alright. Stage 3. Now I'm gonna beat it, very first time I've been on this level so please don't get mad. Come on. Alright! Let's do it! (dies from falling off platform) Aw damn it. (moans). Did not know it would collapse like right under me. Damn! Oh well, I'm not gonna make that stupid mistake again. Okay, so, climbing, cause that's my job as Jumpman. Why don't I call him Climbman? You know, the reason why I'm not getting the hammers is I don't see a very useful purpose. You know, Mario's a freakin' sicko! I mean he's taking women's purses. If I did that I'd get smacked upside the head. Oh. Okay, oh shit, aw shit. (jumps and dies by fireball). Aaaw, god damn it!! Gooood!! Could've beaten it! Aw. Game over my ass hole!

I'm gonna turn off the computer off right now because it SUCKS!!! Damn!! Okay, let's do it again! This time I'm gonna do it you piece of SHIT!! Come on, CLIMB! Oh climb, climb, climbing, climb. This is all I do because I'm the Climbman. Fuck Jumpman. Why the hell (dies from barrel). DAMN IT!!! Awww!!!! God, why can't Mario learn to just jump in between two barrels? That sounded wrong. Aww, okay. Gotta climb. Climb. Damn it, climb. What the hell did they do? What the hell, the barrels like, made love with each other. (dies from barrel) OH SHIT!!! Grrrrrrrrrr!!!! DAMN IT!!!!!! This game drives kids to suicide. You know why kids always have to kill themselves? It's 'cause they have to play this shitty game! It's so hard! God, I feel like I'm the Angry Video Game Nerd except not as cool. Shit, I almost got killed. (runs away from barreland dies). Oh no no no no, Damn it!! God, I pressed the jump button! God, why can't Mario run in this game?! The controls suck just like Mario Bros. At least that was a little easier. They had different levels. Exactly, it's the same thing over and over again. It barely changes.

Oh yeah, why couldn't they have made Donkey Kong a little longer?! Ewwwwwww! (thinks he's gonna die) Aw shit, shit! (barrels go down the ladder). Oh! You don't know when they do that. You never know what the hell the barrel's gonna do. You don't know if it's gonna migrate (dies from barrel) down barrel. WHAT THE FUCK???!! I PRESSED JUMP!!!! Awwwwwwwww!!!! I hate it! I'm gonna kill you Donkey Kong because you're such a bastard! Oh god, why can't I climb? (dies from barrel coming down the ladder) Awwwww damn! SEE YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT THE HELL THE BARREL'S GONNA DO!!!! You don't know if it's gonna go down the ste- ladder. Or if it's just gonna go rolling off the edge. And all the way down. And why do they have oil in this game?!! Seriously. I mean, they they don't have sort of a purpose. And neither do the hammers! I mean, well, exactly the oil thing serve a purpose. But, you know, to kill you. Oh shit! Oh Shit OH SHIT!! (dies) Aw. Fuck. Aww, I hate you Donkey Kong. You fucker. Fucking rapist. Chick napper.

No. I'm hearing a stupid noise. (to his sisters). Will you turn that god damn piece of shit down? I'm making a video!!! God!! Stupid sisters! (dies from barrel but doesn't notice) God, what the hell's that noise?! God, I hate having sisters. they scare the fucking shit outta me man! Aw, we're back to the beginning. God, I can't even remember what I'm supposed to be doing. Okay, let's kick some donkey ass. Donkey ass? Alright. And what do the broken ladders serve? I mean what's the purpose. I mean, I don't get it. Are they really broken ladders? That's stupid. What's the purpose in them? I mean, they're broken ladders, so what? Like, am I gonna go go down 'em? Who wouldn't be able to complain about this game is if you like jump too high up, you die. Yeah, Mario's never had a problem with that like in Mario All-stars (dies from fireball) Aw fuck. Mario burns his ass. Or booze. Or whatever. Either way he's dead. Motherfucker. God, see this drives teenagers to suicide. And it also gives people like me heart problems because it's so fucking, it makes you pissed. Come on, come on. (moans) (falls and dies) Yes. Awwww damn! See? You fall you die, everything happens. Any. No matter what happens, you die. You die, you die, you die, you die, you die. It just fucking pisses me off!